The Blog of Death

Patricia's story has extra poignancy to people from Alaska. Thanks for sharing.

I read Ms. Tighem's book a few years ago and wondered how anyone could endure such suffering. At the end of the book, it seemed she had reached a stage of healing and acceptance. She had the love and support of her husband, her four children, her parents and brothers and sisters, she was trained as a nurse, she incredibly survived a grizzly bear attack that nearly killed her and left permanently disfigured and in terrible pain. I thought this woman has been through hell, but persevered and created a life for herself and her family. I thought she was remarkable. I still think so. But I had no idea that her suffering was still so strong and constant, so much so that she needed to end her life to escape from it. How desperate she must have been to leave behind her children; what torture she must have felt, what unimaginable pain must have been consuming her. I can only hope that she is finally at peace, with no more pain. God bless you, Patricia. I will never forget you or your book. You will always be remembered as a strong, courageous, loving woman, not only by me, but by many others.

I will remember you! And Bless Your family. May their present pain transform to comfort and understanding.

May you now Embrace your peace and freedom from pain. Your story has touched my heart, sweet Patricia Anne.

I'd like to borrow from the previous poster (Pat M)... "Bless your family. May their present pain transform to comfort and understanding."

I have read and reread "The Bear's Embrace" that I bought while traveling and hiking in Banff, Jasper, Yoho and other Canadian Parks. I could not put it down, it is such a beautifully written and moving account of her suffering and trying, mostly for others' sakes, to repress her trauma, grief, fear and pain. Patricia you are and will remain an inspirational model for me. I am so sorry for you, your family and this planet as it is a lesser place without you. May God rest your soul and may you see with two eyes and be pain free where you are now. It is a lesson for all of us to hear and rehear what someone needs to say, and to be empathetic always with those we love.

this book has stayed with me.....i could not put it down - and feel saddened by the fact that after such tenacity, perseverance and intermittent spells of hope she ended her life.

Well taking ones own life is so out of fashion these days. If she was so traumatized by her accident she should have joined the recent New Jersey bear hunt and gotten some payback. Very sad all the same I think.

I have read your very poignant, personal story. You fought so valiantly against the bear and the demons it brought to you through no fault of your own. I hope you are at peace now. My thoughts and prayers are with your family and friends. Sleep in peace, sister soldier.

I just finished The Bear's Embrace yesterday, not knowing that Ms. van Tighem ultimately commit suicide. I felt that its ending was forced -- that Trish felt she had to conclude on an upbeat note. To me, that was the real tragedy, that somehow she never got permission (from herself, from society) to permanently feel vulnerable, sad, lonely, angry, depressed. We allow people a recovery period and then expect them to be strong and bounce back. May be we expect too much.
Her struggles were beyond what most of us can relate to. How could she possibly feel mentally well with so many physical obstacles--pain, disfigurement, recurring infection. As for ptsd, the bear mauling was one thing--what about the pts from all the surgeries? And what about the stress that society's expected time for her mental recovery had expired?
Trish fundamentally understood the patient's need for compassion, quite apart from trying to "be fixed," physically or psychologically. Sometimes we just need to be held. Wasn't that perhaps what her final dream meant?

A very interesting book and my condolences to the family who I hope are able to rebuild their lives. Patricia is a great example of how hard the human spirit TRIES to endure.

One little question-where is Napier, B.C.??

I will never fully understand the pain you went through and I'm sorry. I was in the Daily P. in Trail B.C with you I was 17yrs old and was placed in the same room as you. When I met you I saw a woman who was welcoming and warm I also remmber how you would light up when you would talk about your childeren. I respect you becaues you did fight for thoes 22 years,I got your book and can't put it down. I'm sure you've asked God why this road and this way.
When I think of you I will think of you with respect,encouragement,strong and with beauty both inside and out. Thankyou for your book. I pray for your childeren understanding and peace in their hearts.

I just got got through reading Patricia's story in 2 days. I couldn't put it down. I'm so sorry for the pain and suffering she had to endure. Taking her own life must have been the hardest thing she had to do considering the love she had for Trevor and their children. I was amazed at her endurance and at Trevor's as well. My condolences to her family and friends.

My heart goes out to the family, I can only imagine what they must be going through. This story it so tragic for all of you. I am sorry for your struggles and your losses.

I just finished reading The Bear's Embrace. As Liz posted on March 26th, Patricia had incredible courage and tenacity, otherwise she could not have completed the writing of the book and kept on going in spite of the pain and depression. I think that to only partially understand the struggle that people who suffer depression go through, we should all have to go about our daily lives with a huge 100 lb pack on our backs 24/7. Our condolances to her family, who we know have suffered along with her all these years.

This is the official press release .

Patricia Anne Van Tighem (Janz)

August 22, 1958 - December 14, 2005

Last Wednesday, Canada lost a celebrated author and advocate for those who
struggle with chronic pain, facial disfigurement, post-traumatic stress and
the challenges of raising children with special needs. Patricia Anne Van
Tighem (Janz), mother, author, advocate and friend, died on December 14,
2005, from the lasting effects of a bear attack 22 years earlier in southern
Alberta.

Few can imagine the loneliness and hopelessness of those who cannot escape
the chronic pain, repeated surgeries and facial disfigurement resulting from
traumatic injuries. To transcend isolation and to connect with, and
transform, the lives of countless others, demands rare courage and strength.

Patricia Van Tighemís legacy endures in her children, countless friends, and
the remarkable difference her writing and advocacy have made in the lives of
untold numbers of people.

Known internationally as the author of the best-selling book "The Bearís
Embrace", Patricia was born August 22, 1958 in Calgary Alberta, one of ten
children in the family of John and Eileen Van Tighem. John ("Jack"), who
predeceased Patricia in 1989, was the highly regarded Superintendent of the
Calgary Catholic School System for 13 years; Eileen is a much-loved mother,
grandmother and great-grandmother who supported Patricia in countless ways
until the end. Patricia is also pre-deceased by an older sister, Mary.

Patricia graduated from Calgaryís St. Maryís High School and later completed
the nursing program at Mount Royal College. In 1989, she received her
Bachelor of Science (Nursing) with Distinction from the University of
Victoria. Patricia served proudly as a nurse at Calgaryís Foothills
Hospital.

In 1980 Patricia married Trevor Janz. Three years later, on September 18,
1983, they were attacked by a bear in Waterton Lakes National Park, an
incident that left Patricia with lasting injuries and Post-Traumatic Stress
Disorder. She moved with her family to Nelson B.C. in 1993.

Despite requiring multiple surgeries, enduring chronic pain and suffering
episodic mental illness, Patricia was a quietly effective volunteer and
devoted mother. She established a Calgary branch of ëAbout Faceí, which
supports people with facial disfigurement. After the birth of her daughter
Claire, Patricia made significant contributions to ëUps and Downsí, a
resource for families of children with Downís Syndrome. She recently
initiated an information night and support group for Nelson parents
addressing the developmental challenges of special needs children. Beyond
these endeavours, Patricia gave inspirational public addresses and wrote
with brave candour, attracting national and international media attention.

Patriciaís response to what life presented moved professionals. Theologian
Michael Duggan recently said that "Patricia was put among us to teach us."
She used her life experiences to validate the struggles of others and to
help build bonds among people isolated by pain, grief or struggle. In the
final months of her life, neurologist Dr. Neil Hagen told her: "You are an
expert in suffering. Thatís what you are." She tried continually to turn her
suffering into a gift for others, while fighting through it for the love of
her four children.

Patriciaís book ëThe Bearís Embraceí began as a therapeutic attempt to deal
with the lasting pain, disfigurement and trauma that resulted from her 1983
bear attack. To her humble surprise, the book became a Canadian best-seller
and was subsequently released in American and European editions.

Patricia will be remembered with enduring affection, admiration and respect
for her remarkable kindness, insight and strength of spirit in the face of
unending tribulation. Patricia remains a great blessing in the lives of
those she touched, including her many, many friends.

Her family thanks the legions of compassionate people who cared for and
about Patricia for over two decades.

In lieu of flowers, the family respectfully requests that donations be made
in Patriciaís memory to a trust fund for her children, c/o ëThe Janz-Van
Tighem Trust Fundí, Investors Group, 100-37 Richard Way S.W. Calgary T3E
7M8.

It is April 30th and I just finished the book..and so sorry now to learn of her death..but what an incredible life . Also a message to Trevor..what a hard working devoted family man he is.

I HAVE READ THE BEARS EMBRACE SEVERAL TIMES. A POWERFUL STORY. I FEEL DEEPLY FOR THE SURVIVORS OF PATRICA, SHE WAS A BRAVE WOMAN.

I had read the book right after it was published, but just finished it a second time after my husband, one-year-old twins and I encountered a Florida black bear (which did not threaten us) in the woods; I just learned of Patricia's death.

My heart goes out to the family. It may be incomprehensible to most, and only those who have ever been suicidally depressed (as I was 10 years ago) will fully understand. Patricia was a remarkable woman, a true inspiration. I will never forget her.

Best wishes to her family.

I learned of Patricia's death in the newspaper. I read the obit and finally bought the book. What a tradegy. Not like Tredwell was practically asking to be attacked by a grizly in Alaska. I agree with another reader who said the uplifting ending felt forced. It would have been just as imspiring to end with a question mark about her future. Life is unfair, full of suffering. She wrote beautiflly and i was touch by her story. I'm sorry there will be no more stories from her. God bless her soul and her family.

I HAD MARKED DOWN "THE BEARS EMBRACE" MONTHS AGO AND FINALLY PICKED IT UP AT OUR LIBRARY IN OKOTOKS. I ALSO COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN UNTIL I HAD FINISHED READING IT. I AM NOT A GREAT READER BUT THIS BOOK WAS VERY INSPIRING. I LEARNED TODAY ON THE INTERNET THAT PATRICIA HAD PASSED AWAY IN DECEMBER. HOW TRULY SAD AFTER ALL SHE HAD ENDURED. I HOPE GOD HAS GIVEN HER PEACE IN HEAVEN. MY SYMPATHY TO HER FAMILY

I read "The Bear's Embrace" about 2 years ago. I could not put this book down. I had to keep reading it until it was finished. This book was beautifully written and so moving. I passed this book onto other friends of mine who had never heard about her. I live in a small town just north of Nelson. I had the honour of meeting Patricia one day in our mall in Nelson. I told her what a wonderful and inspirational book she had written. That this book had truly touched my heart, because of what she had to endure all of the years after her attack. I was so glad that I was able to talk to her. I will never forget her. It was only a few months ago that I found out that she had ended her life. You "Patricia" will be greatly missed!!!! May God Rest Your Soul and may God give your family strength in this sad time.

I just finished the book in the last hour, and went online to thank her in writing for writing this inspirational story. I was surprised and sad to hear of her death. I have PTSD. My husband, my son and I were in a serious automobile accident in Nova Scotia on August 27, 2005. My 11 year old son died in Halifax on September 6, 2005 from brain injury. He donated his organs and saved four lives. My husband left me in March 2006. Her book continues to change lives. Patricia's story gives me hope for my eventual recovery from PTSD.

I read and obsessively re-read Patricia's book during a particulalry awful time for me physicallly and emotionallly. Her honesty about suffering helped me get through what I had to get through. I don't know what I would have done without her account, because as has been said on this site, we're not allowed to talk about suffering -- esp. suffering that isn't resolved according to conventional ideas of "long enough". I agree with the tribute that suggested that the ending of her book was forced. It reads as though some editor told her she had to end on a "hopeful" or "positive" note, that the reading public would demand such an ending. I wish she had been allowed to tell the truth and in a way her suicide did just that. I remember reading one review of her book that expressed impatience with her suffering - it was that impatience, in large measure, I think that made her suffering all that much more unbearable.

I just found out this evening from my daughter that our dear family friend, Trish, had passed away.We are so deeply saddened and stunned by this belated news.
Trish came into our lives when we lived two doors down in Calgary in 1987.Her daughter Molly and my daughter Ashley became close friends and Trish and family became important in our lives.Trish was a quality person and we loved her standards in how she raised her family.On her dark days I would babysit her children and try to be there for her.I loved her down to earth way, her sense of humour and having tea with her.Her kids are absolutely amazing and I treasured the time spent with them. We moved to B.C. and then years later they moved. I really ached for our time on 25th street.We exchanged yearly letters and pictures and we were able to visit the family in Nelson when they were building their dream home.Trish's book is a treasure to me and made me understand her even more.She is out of her pain, but the world lost a very wonderful human being.

For Laurie Whyte.I am so glad you were able to read Trish's book.You have been through so much also.To think your sons legacy is giving life to four human beings is amazing.For yourself, from a fellow human being, speak loud enough until you are heard and validated and if there is no response speak loudly again.Someone will answer you finally..I did.
Take care
Lorie

I have just finished reading Patricia's book. Eloquently written, I felt I was living her experiences through the entire book, and kept willing her, and therefore myself, to keep going. The end of the book, the dream where the bear gently embraces her rather than destroying her, was sudden and out of character: I kept turning the pages back and forth, thinking I'd missed something. The end was so abrupt. Nevertheless, I felt the urgency to thank and congratulate Patricia for her incredible effort and insight to share her experiences through her writing. I am deeply dismayed to learn of her death. I'm so sorry there was no other way for her to gain peace and release from her suffering. The world has lost a remarkable person. My heartfelt condolences to the family. I hope you are all healing well.

I usually don't read books, but a friend from B.C.suggested I should for motivation in our sport(Squash).I did read Trish's experience while in Cuba, as well as 3 other friend's who saw my expressions. I thought it was important to share her experience with a few of the Cuban guards on the property( Their are no predators on the Island) who spoke very little English by showing them the cover and Trish's picture.They were so sad for her and couldn't believe that such a big bear existed. They wanted to understand how it happened and how she lived throughthru such an experience.

I had the pleasure of being in Trish's writing class in the Kootenays. She never wanted the attack sensationalized. It wasn't her style. She wanted to do good and bring about hope for others.

She engaged others quietly. Her writing was gripping and I so enjoyed her as a peer.

I saw Trish when I was visiting Nelson in 2005. It was wonderful to see her.

Trish was an extraordinary writer.
She loved well.
And was loved well in return.

I sense your peace at last.
Quiet dreams to you.

Patricia's story is one of the most provoking and evocative accounts of one person's life I have ever read.

I read her book over and over again always crying when i finish. She's a insperation to anyone who has survived a bear attack. I believe pain is something everybody must endure. Yet i can;t help feeling the pain she felt was more than anybody should feel. When i broke my neck the pain was unberable but you know what i read while i laid in that hospital bed. THE BEARS EMBRACE!

A few days ago I learned of Patricia's death and became very saddened. I read her book a few years ago, which was given to me by my grandmother. I am now doing a book report on "The Bear's Embrace" which I am proud to do. I am truly sorry for her loved ones.

I had the honor of meeting Patricia in Kelowna in Oct 2005 I really felt for her. I thought she was a amazing woman and don't know how she endured all the pain mental and physical. I got her autograph and got her book, sadly i lost it in a house fire in 2007. I was saddened today as i read she passed away. Rest in peace patricia

I have only now learned of Patricia's death. It is a huge shock. I knew her in New Zealand and found her to be a true friend. Encouraging at all times. She will be missed by many. I would love to read her book. If anyone knows where I might obtain a copy. I would much appreciate it.

I was up all nite rereading "The Bear's Embrace". I feel like God led me to pick it up again last night for some reason. Maybe to help me deal with my own depression. I was still crying this morning from reliving Patricia's pain through her book. I decided to go online to maybe write her and ask how she was doing. I sat there stunned when I read she committed suicide. And also that beforehand her and her husband had separated. I am so terribly distraught for how much she suffered in her life physically and emotionally. Why God? Someone said her life was a lesson for others. Why should she have had to suffer so much to teach others compassion and empathy? Lord, you better make it up to her big time! God Bless Patricia Van Tighem!

I just finished reading the book I purchased in Banff after hiking through grizzly country. I am amazed at the amount of time both Patricia and Trevor hung on for so long after the attack. They both suffered so much.It's time we all accept that fear and pain are unbearable at times and more people should be more understanding and forgiving. Because it could happen to any of us.

My heart is thinking of you today,my friend.Time does not take away this ache inside. I will always treasure the friend you were to our family and the ideals for which you stood.Your legacy is your beautiful children.
Hugs,
Lorie

what a beautiful lady. may God bless you and grant you his grace and may he watch over your family and give you the power to watch over them too. you are free from pain in paradise.

Having just finished Trish's book, I am awed at the struggle that some are burdened with. Both Trish and Trevor were yoked to a massive load.

The Bears' Embrace, in many ways, was a love story; and a heart wrenching one. His determination to be... mirrored by her inability to regain an assemblance of normalacy creates a deep sadness for both.

Please do not judge those whose struggle ends this way. While unfathomable to most, until you have truly lost hope no one knows how utterly dark each moment becomes.

Blessings to her family.

Just a quick reply to Geoff Brandner's Post of January 22, 2006:below in brackets.

"Well taking ones own life is so out of fashion these days. If she was so traumatized by her accident she should have joined the recent New Jersey bear hunt and gotten some payback. Very sad all the same I think"

Let me say this, as Patricia's Cousin: You obviously have lived a very sheltered life, your understanding of true suffering is clearly minimal, and your lack of tact and compassion is nothing short of disgusting. Taking one's life is not a fashion statement, nor a trend, it is a personal decision, and you can be sure, one never taken likely. It is obvious you have not taken the time to read her book, I suggest you do.

And to suggest taking part in the senseless slaughter of bears in retaliation, is just offensive on so many levels.

It is my sincere hope that in the time since you posted your childish words, that you have found the opportunity, and the courage to grow, and better yourself.

It is also my sincere hope, that one day I will meet you, so that I can personally help you understand both the depth and breadth of extreme suffering.

Oops, I meant: lightly (not likely) please edit - thanks!

Trish,
I did not know you, but I can only imagine the hell you were going through. You amaze me, and I know that you are free of pain in Heaven as a beautiful blonde-haired woman with both your lovely blue eyes. RIP angel.

I kept a note to myself to read the book after first reading the review of it in the Globe and Mail almost 9 years ago. While in Portland, Oregon this summer I stumbled upon a copy at a used book store.

I read the book this past week. Like most of you I could not and would not put it down until it was finished. I started it in Calgary and finished it on the plane to Ottawa. I gave the book away to the person I was sitting beside and told him that it was most inspiring story and to please pass it on so that others can read and learn about Patricia's most remarkable story.

While in Ottawa I recommended the book to a friend. She borrowed a copy from the library and like all of us she could not put it down until she was finished.

Only today do I discover that Patricia is no longer with us. I am saddened. My heart goes out to all that knew her and to her children and family.

A truly remarkable story by a very brave and courageous woman.

I just finished reading Patricia's book and was so terribly saddened to find out that she has since committed suicide.She must have had an amazing spirit to have lived through so much physical and emotional pain. I hope that she has found her peace at last. My sincere condolences to her family.

i had to write a biography about her.

At one point in her life she thought a bear attack was impossible. Now everything seems to be going against her. She doesn’t trust anyone. Her name is Patricia Van Tighem. She and her husband Trevor were mulled by a bear. They were rushed to the hospital and in the years that came they started a family and Trish began to get infections.
Their hiking trip started out like any other but ended in their attack. What happened was, on the start of the hiking trip they smelled a dead carcass that was off the trail a little ways but they paid no attention to the smell. They stayed the night on the mountain and the next morning they headed back down the mountain, that’s when the attack happened. They were then rushed to the hospital and endured many long hard hours of surgery and reconstructive work on their faces. When they were well enough to go home, Trish was still scared and afraid. She coped with what fallowed, and returned to her job as a nurse.
Two years after their attack, Patricia became pregnant. Her baby was a girl they named Nicola. They moved to New Zealand from British Columbia, two more years go by and Trish is always sad, then she learns she is pregnant with twins. Daniel their baby boy is healthy, but their new daughter Ellen has Down syndrome. They move back to British Columbia and Trish becomes pregnant, but miscarriages. She is diagnosed with depression and becomes pregnant for the fourth time and has a healthy baby they name William.
Since Nicola turned one Patricia has been sick. When she had the twins she was diagnosed with depression and she wouldn’t do anything but stay in her bed and cry. Trevor takes her to a psychiatric ward because she just keeps getting worse and worse. When she is there she tries to kill herself but survives, Trevor and her family are devastated, so she promises never to do it again. Before she miscarried Patricia decided to get a Proethisis, to cover her right empty eye socket, which had to come out because it rotted. She ended up contracting cellutis and it spread to her blood stream. When she had her last child Will, she was moved to the psychiatric ward again, she keeps seeing images with cut up bloody torn faces, when she asks for help and to make the images stop the doctors lock her in a room. When she got the Proethisis, she had to get bolts in the side of her face to keep the proethisis on, the bolts caused many infections. The bolts needed to be removed and Trish complained about a lump on her lower cheek. When they were removed the doctor told her that the bone around the bolts were mushy and rotted. Also the lump on her cheek turned out to be an abscess. They removed it all from her face and most of the infections went away. Now she could be a part of her family’s life again.
Patricia’s mulling was the start of her long and painful recovery. She started out well but her mood changed and it went down hill from there. Her experiences inspired many people to always live their life to the fullest. Another thing she taught people is to never take what you have for granted.

My husband bought the book for me in 2000, I have read it many times and shared with friends, who never even heard of Patricia. My husband and I have had a few encounters, no physical, but none the less terrifying. I hope Patricia, you are educating those who you abide with now, you are My hero. Laurie